Apparently I’ve basically missed Mental Health Awareness Week, which is something I wish I’d heard about earlier because it’s something I feel very positive about. It’s been a while since I’ve written much, so now feels as good as any a time to talk a little bit about mental illness and how it’s affected me.
You’re probably asking, how many more personal posts do I have in me? And I’d reply with a winky face, because I could talk about myself for yonks.
As I write this post I’m making pizza. Is this relevant at all? Well, no. And yes. I’m making it as a celebration of sorts, because right now I feel like a real person.
When I was young, my mum used to make pizza as a treat. I don’t know how she made it, but I’ve never had anything like her dough since. When I was sick I would always ask her to make her pizza for dinner, because somehow it always made me better again. In a way, that’s what I’m going for. But also, I just really love pizza.
Most of my life I’ve been an insomniac. I don’t have the nice kind of insomnia that only pops around a couple times a year for a day or two, but the real serious kind where I can go over a week without sleep. That’s fine, I’m used to it. You grow up learning to deal with the sleepless nights and foggy days. It becomes normal.
The sun was still rising when my alarm startled me awake Thursday morning. I begrudgingly rolled out of bed and into the car, off to the bus station in the city. The cityscape was gorgeous and glimmering as we crossed the harbour. An exhausting, but good start to an adventure.
One of the first characters I ever wanted to be was Leia Organa. Or Supergirl. A force-sensitive princess, a super-powered alien gal — they were both basically everything a four-year-old Saf could ever have dreamt of being. And while I didn’t know it at the time, they were the first characters I ever felt the urge to cosplay.
Good news everyone! It’s 4 in the morn’ and I’m listening to a remix of Binary Sunset while a heater blasts my tired feet. I should be asleep, but instead I’m starting this post about the weekend just been.
Armageddon Expo, the big con of lil’ ol’ New Zealand, has just been. The second-to-last ‘geddon of the year is over, now leaving us with a con-less gap until late October. Boo! But the weekend has been utterly amazing, helped in large part by my wonderful friends, cosplayers and civilians alike.
I feel, at this moment, as if I am a child once more. Writing a blog post, something more than 140 characters, is far beyond what I’m used to — or even comfortable with!
And yet, it’s been a long time coming. I have a lot of things to say, but am never completely sure how to put them across. I’m so unused (I’m 99% sure that’s a real word) to writing properly, be it creatively or otherwise, that this will be a far new experience for me. However, I want to at least try to get across my thoughts and experiences in a less fleeting way than twitter.
So, here is my blog! My main plan is for this blog to be:
- thoughts on media (mostly Star Wars, let’s be real)
- to share cosplay progress
- videos & photography
- other topics I feel are important enough to write a post on
- my own creative writing
I don’t know how this will go. I hope I’ll stick to it, but either way, here we are. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get past childhood and feel like an adult when it comes to blogging.