I have some writing in the works, but it’s my birthday tomorrow, and then a busy weekend because of my 21st party, so I’m gonna be behind on most of my posts. So, have some dogs! I took these at a dog adoption drive a few weeks back.
Over the past couple weeks I have consistently come up against walls put up by the biggest challenge of my young life: my illness. It comes and goes in waves, as many of life’s struggles do. One week I might wake up earlier than usual. I won’t get exhausted from showering and dressing and getting generally ready for my day. I’ll be productive, and best of all I’ll be optimistic.
The next week: sleep becomes a struggle, but waking up is like pulling myself from a tar pit. I’ll collapse onto my bed after getting ready and I won’t have the energy to move for another hour. I might have to stop making breakfast halfway through and lie down on the kitchen floor, the world dim and muffled. This, unfortunately, has been the entirety of March for me so far.
Chronic fatigue is balls.
I’ve always been that person who constantly and consistently fights for other people–be it for better or worse–but has never worried too much about herself. When it came to representation in media, I’ve always been vocally backing up that yes, we need trans people, we need people of colour, we need asexuals and aromantics and all the other facets of the LGBT+ umbrella.
But I never really worried about myself, I never felt I needed to see people I identified with in the shows, books, games and movies I love. Sure, I was bitter at the utter refusal from shows like Orange is the New Black to use the b-word (bisexual, the word is bisexual), but I reiterate that actually seeing a bi gal on the silver screen didn’t feel vital to me. Other people needed (and still do need) that representation more.
And then The Legend of Korra happened. Read More
Hearing the news of the cancellation of The Clone Wars last year was like a galactic gut punch to the stomach. Rebels softened the blow, in the way that a cushion softens a skydive-gone-wrong.
But, I am endlessly positive about the future and hopelessly enthusiastic about seeing new Star Wars stories, and so it didn’t take me long to get into the Rebels hype. I was going to miss Ahsoka and Asajj and everyone else with the fire of a thousand suns, but I had total faith that the group working behind it all had plans. I’m endlessly scared of change, but I knew it was time to love a new thing.
I started this year with the goal that I will write, and I will write what I’ve planned—even if it takes me far too long to get to it. I said I would write about PAX Aus, and so:
I’d been dreaming of visiting Melbourne for years, ever since being told it’s a “cooler Wellington”. Being invited along to PAX—Penny Arcade Expo—by my friends was the perfect opportunity to see the city and finally taste its world-class coffee.
(In hindsight, I’m not sure I even drank coffee there.)
Today is the last day of 2014 (at least for me in NZ) and really, I’m pretty excited for the new year. This year hasn’t been bad—it’s had its downs, all years do—but it’s been long. A lot has happened, but it also feels like nothing at all has.
In the end it was a year based on recovery and re-learning my own body after the nightmare of last year. That’s been mostly successful! I can run for far longer than before, I can walk back home after going into the bay, my brain fog has lessened, I don’t get anxious when I get phone calls anymore. I’m not good, but i’m okay—and that is something I very desperately needed.
As for my blog, I’m pretty happy I’m still here and writing (Even if there are sometimes big gaps between my posts!) One of my goals for next year is to kick my butt into gear when it comes to writing and blogging for all the blogs I write for, as well as for the novel I’m slowly working on.
Let’s look back at my year, because it’s far more interesting to write my own “year in review” than let Facebook generate it for me. Read More