Tourist | Postmortem
Content warning for discussion of depression and suicide.
Two nights ago, I decided I would arbitrarily pick a day to celebrate finishing Tourist. So, tonight, I am going to celebrate exactly that, even if I technically posted the final chapter a couple weeks ago. I don’t know if I’m happy with the serial as a whole, but finishing any decently-sized project is worth celebration. We all need to be proud of the things we do achieve.
Tourist began with a thought: how would another person experience depression and asexuality if they were to suddenly find themselves in my brain and body? I had lived with depression for so long that I had grown used to it. I’d forgotten how much all of us with mental illness fight to exist every day. That realization hit me hard as I showered in my best friend’s bathroom, staring up at the bright blue sky through a skylight.
I dried myself off and quickly opened Keep—as I do—to scribble down my idea. I wasn’t exactly looking for a new serial project after finishing Mountain Sound, Tourist just kind of came to me. A very different sort of story to Mountain Sound, which had been something I’d been thinking about for a few years before starting. Tourist would be first person, have a bigger cast, a more complex mystery, and would be leaning more YA. I knew from the start how the story would resolve and very quickly figured out an outline with key events and brief descriptions for characters: the AI, the Original, the Best Friend, the Girlfriend, the Sister, the Sad Girl, and the Douche. Audrey came in a little later as a character, so she never ended up with a nickname.
I was like, “Oh yeah, this is easy, I can churn this out with no problems.” Haha, oh, how naive we all are when we begin a new project! My outline for Tourist was finished very early 2016. I finally posted the final chapter (the epilogue) in October 2018. What happened? What went wrong? How the hell could I screw up my own plans so terribly?
Tourist | Fourteen
The audio cuts off at the loamy scrape of a shovel tasting soil. We are torn from Lissa’s voice back into the real world. Moments stretch within Chase’s apartment. We sit frozen and silent: Audrey with her hand over her mouth, Chase’s fist balled tight upon the desk, hot tears dripping from my chin. We are, the three of us, briefly connected in our shock, our horror, our infinite sorrow for Lissa.
“This isn’t fair,” Audrey whispers. Her fingers muffle her words, yet they fill the room. This isn’t fair. None of this is fair, I decide—had decided long ago, as glass shattered and metal crumpled around my fragile, biological body.
There’s movement to my side. Chase slumping onto forearms, fingertips clawing chaotic hair. Audrey lays a hand on his back, her bright eyes meeting mine over his hunched form. Here we are: human and ersatz. We all mourn the same losses when it comes down to it. No wonder artificials so often stick to our own, I realise. We don’t die the same. We don’t lose the same.
And then it hits me: the trade-off I’ve never considered. Paiden, with her open home and loving fathers, can only be all too aware of their impending mortality. While I wanted to live like her, maybe she was looking at my eternal sister and wishing her own family could continue on and on until the end of time.
Shit. When this is all over, I need to apologize to her.
Blog Squadron – Mission #6: Sharing and Social Media
Blog Squadron is a series of posts from a handful of Star Wars bloggers sharing insight into how we got started blogging, what inspires us, how we succeed at our goals, and our approaches to blogging and writing. We hope that by sharing our knowledge, we can help others join us as Star Wars bloggers, and make it easier for newer fans to write about their love. Join us as we discuss sharing content, building audiences, and how social media has helped us as bloggers.
Blogmatis Personae
(Or, who the heckie are all these awesome bloggers?)
Matt Applebee: Far, Far Away Radio.com
Jessie Stardust: TatooineDreams.com (Personal Blog, mostly Star Wars flavored) and PassionatelyCasual.com (Star Wars: The Old Republic podcast site.)
Patty Hammond: I currently write for my own EverydayFangirl.com and also for The Future Of The Force, StarWars.com and TheBeardedTrio.com. I have previously wrote for The Cantina Cast and The Detroit News Geek Watch Blog.
Bryan: I’ve posted on a few blogs along the way, but I’m exclusively on hyperspacepodblast.comnowadays.
Sophie: My personal blog is outerrimreviews.wordpress.com where I am chronicling my journey through the Star Wars Expanded Universe. I also write articles for farfarawayradio.com
Johnamarie Macias: TheWookieeGunner.com
Saf: I write sporadically for ToscheStation.net, MakingStarWars.net, and TheWookieeGunner.com. I also write about Star Wars on my own site, NotSafForWork.com.
Medication Can Be Good, Actually
Content warning: suicide, depression, death.
What a fuckin’ shocker.
Before I get into this, I want to make it clear that I am not a medical professional in any way. This is just my (very) personal experience. Got it?
Good.
I was raised in an environment that was negative about modern medicine. I was made to skip school so I wouldn’t get vaccinated, my pleas for a diagnosis of asthma fell upon deaf ears, and I imagine discussion about medication for mental illness was so far off the table it might as well have been flying into the sun. As a pretty sick kid, I was always told that I should eat more spinach, or do yoga, or shine yellow light on myself, or follow what-fucking-ever the new-age health mags were saying.
And because I was young, I wanted to believe my parents when they said these things would help. Then I looked at my friends, who went to doctors and hospitals and had prescribed medication for their bad flus and infections and other ailments, and I got that strange sense you get as a kid, when you start to think, Why is my family so different?
Podcast Spotlight: Whoa, Nessie! A Show About Creatures You’ll Never See
Where does the phoenix come from? What special gifts do these fiery birds possess? Why were ancient humans so obsessed with wanting to eat them? Find out, on Whoa, Nessie!, one of the Not Saf For Work podcasts launching on July 1st!
What do you get when you combine a nerd and an animal enthusiast? You get a podcast that takes you on a wild ride from the Scottish Highlands to a galaxy far, far away; into Greek epics and back to modern “reality”.
(Well, you either get that, or a horrifying chimera, Whoa, Nessie!)
Following hosts Amelia and Jade as they explore the mysterious world of mythological beasts, cryptids, and fantastical creatures on a quest to discover the truth. Cryptozoology may be a pseudoscience, but that won’t keep them from becoming the best darn pseudoscientists they can be!
Do you believe?
Your Hosts
Amelia is a big ol’ nerd, and doesn’t care much for reality. As such, she loves everything sci-fi, fantasy, and mythic, including the creatures that live in those worlds. An illustrator and sometimes-writer, she has a sporadically-updated fantasy webcomic called Quest-ish, and is working on a couple of sci-fi novels (also sporadically).
If you can’t get enough of her chipmunk voice, she’s also a co-host of the Star Wars discussion podcast Far Far Away Radio. You can find her on her twitter @amalimali, or visit her portfolio website.
Jade is what someone might call an “animal enthusiast”. She’s studied animal behavior and worked with tigers, leopards, lions, cougars, and lemurs—just to name a few. As a rescue advocate, Jade is often hanging out at the animal shelter and has stuffed her home with 3 rescues and 2 fosters.
Have you seen the adorable dog video? She has. What’s that obscure cat breed? She knows. Why do tigers do that weird thing? She will tell you, and then share even more facts you didn’t know you needed.
You can find her big cat and rescue pet photos on her Instagram @jadeoliviak, or tweet at her @jadeoliviakay so she can learn how to use Twitter.
Where can Whoa, Nessie! be found?!
If you want to get Whoa, Nessie! on launch day, look for the NSFW network launch on July 1st, where the first episode will be found on the main network feed. A Nessie-only feed will be out not long after! You can also follow these budding pseudoscientists on Twitter @WhoaNessie.
If you want to stay up to date with NSFW Podcast news leading up to the launch, follow us on Twitter or sign up to our Mailing List. You can subscribe to the NSFW main feed on iTunes, Podbean and Feedburner. New episodes for The Lasso and other shows will be live on the main feed on July 1st!
Podcast Spotlight: Queerly There, A Queer Podcast For Nerds
While media slowly gets more progressive, many of us can’t help but notice the erasure of certain things… such as the word “bisexual”. The first episode of Queerly There, a podcast launching on the Not Saf For Work podcast network on July 1, tackles this topic.
Queerly There is one part love letter, one part nerdy critical analysis, one part frustrated queer rant. Host Rowan explores queer representation in media through discussions of LGBTQIA+ characters, common tropes, and analyses of stories through rainbow tinted glasses.
Filled with humour, bad puns, and a little bit of love for the media that does it right, Queerly There is a shorter solo show that picks apart the good, the bad, and the very bad. Though the premier episode dives into bi erasure, future episodes will explore further aspects of sexuality, queerness, and pulp culture.
Your Host
Rowan is an intersectional feminist, huge nerd, and big queer. A perpetual student and wannabe pop-culture critic, Rowan has a degree in Philosophy and Classical studies and is in their 3rd year of a Creative Technology degree majoring in Film.
A passionate supporter of all things gay and nerdy, they have been described by friends as an enthusiastic and caring dork who loves tea and puns. In the past, Rowan has volunteered as an interviewer with PrideNZ.com and on the media team with NZ Queer youth organisation Inside Out.
Follow Queerly There on Twitter!
Where can the Queerly There podcast be found?
If you, too, want to get the Queerly There theme song stuck in your head, look for the NSFW network launch on July 1st, where the first episode will be found on the main network feed. A Queerly There-only feed will be out not long after!
If you want to stay up to date with NSFW Podcast news leading up to the launch, follow us on Twitter or sign up to our Mailing List. You can subscribe to the NSFW main feed on iTunes, Podbean and Feedburner. New episodes for The Lasso and other shows will be live on the main feed on July 1st!
Podcast Spotlight: The Lasso, A Wonder Woman Podcast
With the Not Saf For Work podcast network launching next month on July 1st, it’s time to talk a little about the podcasts that will be featuring on the network! First up: The Lasso, a discussion show about one of the greatest women known on Earth and beyond, Wonder Woman.
With a rich 75 year history, Wonder Woman has always stood for truth, justice, and love. Covering everything from comics to animation to the silver screen, The Lasso is your one stop shop for discussion, reviews, and perspectives on Diana of Themyscira.
The world’s greatest superheroine has left an undeniable impact on not only pop culture, but our society as a whole. Join Mike and Maia as they celebrate all things wonderful about Wonder Woman!
The Lasso is a podcast for DC newbies, old Diana fans, and anyone in-between who loves good conversations about Wonder Woman. Episodes will come out with comics and other Wonder Woman-related releases.
Your Hosts
Mike Audette is a relatively new Wonder Woman fan coming in with a fresh perspective. He may be newer here, but his love for Diana is true. Mike isn’t new to fandom in general though, and can be found heavily involved with Star Wars blogging and podcasting! He tweets at @mike_audette and writes for Coffee With Kenobi.
Maia is a queer FilAm geek of all trades who spends too much time yelling on twitter @semirose. Maia also writes for her blog, Fire Bee Fights and is the facilitator of upcoming podcast Halo-Halo Happy Hour which features round table conversations by mixed race people.
Where to listen??
The first special review episode of The Lasso discussing the Wonder Woman film is out now on iTunes, Podbean and Feedburner, so be sure to listen, subscribe, and write a review. Follow their Twitter for news and Wondie goodness.
If you want to stay up to date with NSFW Podcast news leading up to the launch, follow us on Twitter or sign up to our Mailing List. You can also subscribe to the NSFW main feed on iTunes, Podbean and Feedburner. New episodes for The Lasso and other shows will be live on the main feed on July 1st!
Look At Me Talk About Things
Hey all!
I’ve been a little (a lot) absent from my site (and other places) for the past month and a half for a couple specific reasons: travel, health, and organizing podcast things. I went to Canada, USA, Wellington, Australia, and then came home to be diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It’s been an intense few weeks! But more on that stuff later.
For now, here are the recordings of the talks and panels I did while travelling and some little write-ups about the events I was lucky enough to experience. Travelling for a month and being accepted to speak at multiple events was a huge privilege, and though I’m paying for it now with my health, I wouldn’t have had April any other way.
Play By Play
Intermission: From the Plane Window
There’s a reason I like the window seat: sometimes I see some cool stuff. Flying over the States had some rad views—at least when the sky wasn’t filled with clouds.
This gallery is something a little different, just a tiny break between me flying to Sydney and sorting through the other hundreds of photos on my card. Be back to normal soon!
Like my photography? Want to see my process? Support me on Patreon!
Open Call for Podcast Pitches
Anyone who’s been following me for a while probably knows I’ve been working my way slowly towards starting my own podcasting network, one that supports diverse voices and gives a platform to those who might struggle to get one otherwise.
Well, it’s finally happening, and I’m now accepting pitches. Aspiring podcaster? Total newbie with a cool idea? Someone with a lot to say, but nowhere to say it? I’m looking for you!
Why are you doing this?
Look, I love podcasting. It’s probably my favourite thing, and I wouldn’t be where I am now without people taking chances on me and giving me space to grow. I want to do that for others, especially for people from diverse backgrounds who may struggle to find opportunities like the ones I was given.
Is this a Star Wars thing?
No, I don’t plan on this being a Star Wars network. I’m already part of three awesome networks in the Star Wars community and I don’t want to make my own. I want to create a space for podcasts about topics that their hosts are passionate about. If some of them end up being about Star Wars, then that’s totally fine.
Is this going to be part of Not Saf for Work?
Yes, it’s going to fall under the umbrella of my personal site. Whether or not the name will reflect that is TBC.
Is there a deadline?
I don’t particularly intend on closing up submissions for the near future, but ideally I would want submissions by the end of February so I can start aiming for a launch date.
How do I pitch?
Email me at notsaffornetwork[at]gmail with the subject like “Podcast pitch” (or something similar, if you’re feeling creative).
What I want:
- Who you and any co-hosts are
- A short run-down of your podcast idea
- How often you’d want to release (weekly, fortnightly, monthly, etc.)
- How comfortable you are to edit your own podcast
- Any previous podcasting/speaking experience you may have
- Optional: a short clip with you and your potential co-hosts discussing something. I basically want to hear your chemistry as a team
Your pitch doesn’t need to be super formal in any way. Don’t worry about writing the perfect email, I want to hear your voice and your ideas.
Can I ask more questions?
Yes! Feel free to email me at the above address, or hit me up in my Twitter (@wanderlustin) DMs to ask any questions, or to simply bounce ideas off of me.
